Update - How to Write a movie in 21 Days

So... I've decided to do it - I'm going to take on the challenge of writing a first draft of a movie in just 21 days using a book by Viki King called, you guessed it; How to Write a Movie in 21 Days.

It sounds like a fun challenge and gives me a time frame to actually get something down on paper rather than stressing about this being right, or that sounding authentic or even basic stuff like character arcs and tropes - you just write what you're feeling at the time and hope that everything comes together at the end. It's called the Inner Movie Method - basically you "watch" the film unfolding in your head and write it down as you think that you see it on the screen. All the tweaking, character description, malarky that goes into actually writing a polished screenplay comes later in a second or third draft.

So I did a little work before I started so that I didn't entirely have the fear of the great white page and came up with a couple of ideas before settling on what I was going to write. In the end I settled on an action/comedy that I've had kicking around for a while and seems the most formulated in my mind. It's called The Deck and was the result of too long spent on CNN late at night. I found out that there was a crazy/genius guy who at the height of the hunt for Bin Laden decided that he could do with the reward for his capture and set off into the hills of Pakistan with little or no knowledge of what on earth he was doing to bring the worlds most notorious terrorist to justice and collect his pay check!

I decided that I wanted to make the piece a little more comedic and write it as if myself and my friends had one day thought that it would be a good idea to go after one of the "deck" of most wanted terrorists as put out by the CIA after the latest Iraq war. Unable to relate to the hunting of terrorist all that well and for obvious reasons not being able to find all that much about how one goes about doing it online I thought that the closest experience to actually being involved in a fire fight was playing on COD. So The Deck became a bunch of avid computer games players out looking for what they considered a "soft" terrorist in the hope of picking up some easy money using the "skills" that they leant when they were behind the sticks.

Obviously it needed a little more and I crafted the lead character Stu into a recently unemployed investment broker who is now unable to pay for his fathers medical bills and after realising that he's never going to make it onto the pro-circuit with his "team" of gammers who are unable to work together to win a qualifying spot he decides to convince them to turn their attention to heading out to the middle east. Though Stu might be hiding something from the group that will shake them all and could mean an end to even their current tenuous partnership.

On day 1 you have to write pages 1-10 (or the ordinary world - establishing where the hero was/is before they set off on their adventure. It has to show the overall tone or theme of the piece and set up the questions that will be answered during the film). I started the group playing for a spot in the finals of the MLG Call of Hero's tournament in Vegas each at their respective homes. It all goes horribly wrong where none of the guys are willing to work with each other and eventually the other team win and the gang falls out for the first time.

Stu then heads off to an interview at Happy Burger where he is turned down for the job because he is over qualified and the paranoid manager thinks that because he turned up in a suit he must be from head office being sent as a spy. He then leaves for the hospital to see his dad who, with no medical care to pay his bills, is looking to be turfed out of the hospital.

It's as far as I've got and it's only a first draft but I'm happy with how things are going so far and I'm enjoying discovering what I want to do with the characters so far on the fly making me learn new things about them with each new scene that I put in.

Anyhow keep up-to-date with the blog to find out where The Deck goes!! Once it's finished I'll be more than happy to have people read it - just give me another 20 days!!

peace,

- Ted

We're drug smugglers, not drug dealers! A review of we're the Millers

We're the Millers - the family down the street that everyone was a little worried about.

Last night I had the pleasure, and what only can be described as the pleasure, of watching We're the Millers starring Jason Sudeikis as David Burke the small time pot dealer who after a run in with "... the cast of Annie" finds himself unable to pay his boss the money that he owes him for this weeks stash and has to travel to Mexico and bring a "smidge" of the green stuff back in order to call it quits.

His plan is fool proof - create a fake family that will help him slip past the boarder guards undetected and onwards to freedom with the stash in tow. In comes Rose (Jennifer Aniston) playing either herself or Rachel Green if she had made some poor life choices after the end of Friends - I can't decide, Kenny (Will Poulter) the 18 year old with the mind of a child from the flat downstairs and Casey (Emma Roberts - who after the film finished google told me it was OK to fancy, she's actually 22!!) the likeable but stroppy homeless teen who is "between couches" as she calls it. All looks like it's going well until upon arrival at the pick-up point it turns out that it's a little more than a "smidge and a half" they're bringing back, and it might not even be theirs to take.

The family unit work well together and the chemistry flows well between them with the characters bouncing off each other as if in another universe the actors are really blood related creating the best looking family ever. The humour comes from those awkward situations that all families at one time or another find themselves in: that talk with your dad about the birds and the bees, the squabble in the RV about how fast it should be going and the disapproval of a daughters boyfriend. In any other film this might be played as straight drama but because we're in on the joke (they're not a real family don't you know) it becomes a great way that Faber and Fybel (the writers) can explore the real emotions behind the fronts that the characters put on. It's clear that they get family dynamics and slowly in the film you're rooting for Dave not only to make it back with the shipment but wake up and realise that a wife and 2.5 children might not be all that bad after all.

However, it's not without its flaws. The laugh riot slows to a crawl sometimes with the story trying to cram too much in, and often a few too many coincidences occurring to service the narrative. Usually a sign that the filmmakers are running out of ideas, but in this case I think that it's just that they had too many and couldn't decide which ones to leave out; I'm sure that there's more that will come out on the DVD extras (I'm going to be sure to buy it). The only real problem that I have with the entire film is that someone insisted that Jennifer Aniston took her clothes off as often as possible. Now I'm not complaining, as a red blooded male she's hot and it's always a draw to see some bits on show, however it's either the desperation of the producers to get more teenage bums on seats ("LOOK TITS GREAT - COME SEE THIS!") or Aniston's management trying to show that she's still got it, and you should call us if you need someone to take their kit off in the latest action film you're thinking of getting off the ground. As a side-bar, and I don't know how she'll take this, Aniston would make a great stripper.

[What is more depressing in that trying to find a picture to go with this blog typing in 'We're the Millers' to Google furnishes you with over three pages of Jennifer in her skimpies before you get any other pictures of the film - Internet you're drunk, go home!]

Though for all the huge jumps and overly toned middle aged flesh the thing that wins the film back is the supporting cast that the Millers run into on their journey. The subliminal Kathryn Hahn, that is rapidly becoming my favourite actress, playing her special brand of loveable crazy in each of the features that she is cast in, Nick Offerman bringing Ron Swanson to the big screen along with his amazing moustache and Ed Helms as the Orca owning drug baron.

Ultimately a film that picks you up and shakes you drumming in the idea that the only opportunities you don't take are the ones you regret. Whether this be the offer of being taught to kiss by your fake mom and sister in-front of your fake dad while the daughter of the family you just met rounds the corner, a chance to join a drug smuggling gang brining enough weed to kill Snoop Dog across the boarder or knocking out a world renowned criminal on the count of 1.

The ending will leave even the hardest hearts warm and fuzzy and giving you a little bit of hope that the Millers might actually become something of the weirdest neighbours in existence with just a little bit of paperwork and a few "I-do's". That is until the sequel and we'll have to revisit them five years later when someone they've crossed will be out for vengeance and the smuggling stakes have gotten even greater! I for one will be watching it!